Today feels like even the clouds have scattered off to find cover.
6:50 am. That’s when my alarm screeched and woke me up. I vaguely remember that minute, but I switched off my phone and went back to sleep. I never switch off my phone, but I did today because I was absolutely not in the mood for a terribly long and tiring day at uni.
7:19 am. My Dad woke me up. And I’m glad he did.
The next 20 minutes were extremely slow and I took my time getting ready even though I had no time to spare. But somehow when I checked my watch at 7:42 am, I was expecting it to be at least 8:00 am.
My brother didn’t drop me to uni like every other day. His team Barcelona lost in last night’s El Classico (Football World Cup final) and I really hope that has nothing to do with him being lazy this morning. So my Dad dropped me, but first he got me a scrambled egg sandwich and mango juice and I completely forgot about them in the car. I ate the sandwich later and the drink is with me right now.
I think I mentioned the details of my morning because just like my hazy morning, my day so far has been so unfocussed as well. The first hour at uni was spent listening to students give awfully done presentations about different poems and poets. I’m usually not so critical about other people’s work but I really wish they would just be sincere when it comes to doing work and try their best. It wastes my time and other peoples’ time.
Without any fuss, I want to spit out my words and end this. (PS: A lot of the things I’ll mention where brought up during a class earlier today – I felt like I needed to write them)
I don’t think I will understand why it’s so difficult for some people to respect our elders, our teachers, and our friends. I think acting like you ‘don’t care’ is not as cool as they think. But I guess nothing and no one is completely good or completely evil. I have good sides and bad sides myself. I accept that and I admit it. When we don’t like or understand something, we demonize it. When we don’t like or understand someone, we label them pariah and evil. We demonize them. We don’t stop to think why they are the way they are. What are the reasons? What do they seem to want? We often look at people and we classify them as a certain type. But how often do we try to ‘see’ them? You can look at everything and see nothing all at once.
Even when someone is being good, are they doing it out of the honesty of their heart or are they looking for something in return? People tend to do good things to make themselves feel better, and to appear like they are charitable and ‘nice’. Some people do things because they are goodhearted and nice. Just like we don’t understand evil, we don’t understand good and we don’t realize that. When someone does something good, it may not necessarily affect you, but when someone does evil it’s like they have wronged everyone in the process. It’s so odd.
Everyone makes mistakes, but should one mistake define the person? Sometimes we don’t know exactly who wrongs us. When other people hurt us, it leaves a spot, a blotch. Why spread that dirt? Why make it bigger than it already is? If you love someone you will forgive them no matter what.
Rebels and pariahs and people who do as they please – regardless of their perception of things, they are still a part of the community. No one has absolute freedom because everyone is tied to everyone else in some way. If you want absolute freedom to do whatever you want, maybe you should go live in a jungle.
We should constantly question things around us. We are born into societies that are so grounded into tradition that we begin to perceive everything around as ‘right’. We begin to think that our traditions and cultures are the best one, the true one, the only one. Until you grow up and start to think and create your own values.What makes an Arab better than an American? What makes an Indian better than a Russian? What makes a French better than an Australian? Not their culture, not their traditions. None of that. What makes one person better than the next is their nature and their character. Those are the things that matter. If I’m Indian, I’m not better than a Chinese or a Pakistani just by design. If I’m Muslim it doesn’t automatically make me better than an atheist or a Jew or a Christian. Regardless of our faith, it’s how we treat other people and how we treat ourselves that makes us better than someone else. I could be someone who is absolutely devoted to God, but I could also not respect His creations and be unfair towards his creations.
It’s not even 11 am yet and I’m so filled up with thoughts and questions about everything around me. All I want is a comfortable bed, some chocolate and a movie.
The sky outside is a bright white scorching envelope of fire, and it’s spitting wisps of clouds down on the world, that just sleeps and sleeps while being fully awake.