For the longest time , I kept hearing about people who go on treks, go backpacking across the country , take road trips into nowhere or just camp in a forest far away from home all just to “find myself”.
For the longest time ever I was one of those people who believed that by distancing myself from my routine and my home, I would come across a new me, a new version of who I am or just a new outlook towards life and myself, my relationships, and my work. A revamp. Or at least a me with some philosophical and life-changing updates.
I’ve changed how I think. I no longer believe that we travel all those distances just to find who we are as if it had escaped to another dimension. We find things that were there all along. I do believe that with time and with typical everyday life, parts of us get suppressed until we completely forget them.
We forget what it’s like to feel the wind in our hair (unless you wear hijab, like me, and never really experienced that in your mature years), we forget what it’s like to laugh without worries or control, we forget what it’s like to walk on paths that are so new that every step is like a discovery of a whole new place, we forget what it’s like to sit back, relax and just watch the sky and all the stars in it, we forget what it’s like to eat new food because back home mom makes the usual stuff, and in this new place every morsel is a kind of crazy culinary experience, and we also forget what it’s like to be unbound and we remember what we’d forgotten. All good things. I know the list of things I just mentioned were typical and the usual stuff every other person wants to experience, but that is exactly my point – every other person.
Because all of us have that capacity to forget and to remember and we do exactly that with our experiences and memories. All of us can live carefree, and enjoy ourselves, and take part in new things, and leave behind the unnecessary. We’re all capable of finding meaning in the abstract, strange, or out of place things and places. None of us are completely left or right or forward or backward. We are all designed the same way, and it is up to us to either let that out and let it happen or to hide it from everyone including ourselves, especially ourselves.
So next time you go on a trip somewhere, or to a farm house with adorable animals and all sorts of fruits hanging from all sorts of trees, or if you go horseback riding and have that moment when you just stop and wonder about how beautiful every thing is – remember that you’re feeling it because it was in you all along.
Every one on earth is not finding himself/herself. We are all remembering what we are meant to feel and how we are supposed to live our life.
That being said, in the end we all return to our typical everyday routine and our usual tasks and grievances but in those quiet moments when a slight breeze cools us off we smile because we remembered.