I am nearly done with pretending. I say nearly because I have the understanding that if people around me keep up with their pretending some of it is likely to be reflected upon me.
We are very rarely exempt from the reactions caused by the behaviours of people around us and this may be a ripple, a wave or a full blow. What matters is that we are touched and a breach is observed.
The problem with this whole reality is that it is reality. We can’t live like independent clauses. We can’t separate ourselves entirely.
The biggest question I ask to those who would lend me an ear is why do people do the things they do, why do we practise certain beliefs and why do we not care to think and choose.
Essentially these may look like questions asked by someone who is a wayward, a pariah or just a person who has reached a certain level of awareness.
The point is that in its entirety these are intelligent questions. I am not an intelligent person because if I were I would have all the answers.
I’m at an age where every one I once played four corners with or shared a classroom with is either getting married or engaged or having their first/second/third baby.
That’s wonderful news, Congratulations.
While in fact I wonder why? Was it because that’s what “we do”? Was it because this is what’s expected? Was it because you didn’t really have a choice and tying the knot or furthering it is ideal?
I question society and its attachments. I question parents who get their girls married young. I question parents who only teach their boys business and money making. I question parents who tell their daughters they have to learn to be good wives. I question parents who don’t take their daughter’s education seriously because how is a degree going to help in the kitchen?
Well, for one – the least a college education will do for you is teach you responsibility and work ethics. That’s the least you get out of it if you’re a normal person.
I question parents who think their daughters are old enough to get married, be someone’s wife, be a part of a new household, but at the same time think it’s not okay to let their girl spend a few hours out with her friends or out working a jo. – because she’s a girl and what if something happens? I question parents who think their daughter is old enough to live with a stranger but not old enough or mature enough or safe enough to go to another country to get an education for the duration of a few short years.
An awful lot of young women face horrible day-to-day lives, physical and psychological abuse at the hands of the husband and his family. And I wonder whose fault that is. The girl who obliged to the wishes of her parents and said yes to a marriage, or the parents who didn’t prioritise?
It’s not okay to send your girl out there but it’s okay to tie her to some person and his family for the rest of her life. – Culture tells you.
If you are a decent human being you’ll start questioning your society even if the troubles are not your own.